


Certain Insecurities

by Sasa_Q



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Because apparently I like to make characters suffer, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Garashir - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, I read a post about Garak being the Cardassian beauty standard and I was like, M/M, What if it was the opposite and he was sad about it :(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:41:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25987615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasa_Q/pseuds/Sasa_Q
Summary: "You're the most beautiful Cardassian in the quadrant," said Julian. "I'm such a lucky man to be with you.""I wish you would stop calling me that," said Garak."What, a Cardassian?" Julian said jokingly."No," Garak said. "Beautiful."
Relationships: Dukat/Elim Garak (past relationship), Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 4
Kudos: 109





	Certain Insecurities

Elim Garak and Julian Bashir lay on their bed together in their shared quarters, out of breath. Garak felt pleasantly warm. He let out a long sigh of breath.

"I tired you out, I didn't I?" said Julian with a wicked look in his eyes.

"You most certainly did," said Garak. "I'm going to sleep for three days now. You'll have to put out a notice in front of my shop." He was only half-joking.

Julian kissed him tenderly on the cheek. "I love you so much."

Garak met his lips and kissed him briefly. "I love you, too," he said into Julian's lips.

"You're the most beautiful Cardassian in the quadrant," said Julian. "I'm such a lucky man to be with you."

"I wish you would stop calling me that," said Garak.

"What, a Cardassian?" Julian said jokingly.

"No," Garak said. "Beautiful."

Julian looked absolutely perplexed. "But you are beautiful."

Garak laughed bitterly. "It's kind of you to say that, but really, Julian, I don't need pity, yours least of all."

"But it's not pity!" Julian said. "You're beautiful! Lovely! Handsome! How do I have to say it so you'll understand?"

"Ugly," said Garak. "Unattractive. Not quite hideous, but still very bad."

"Now hold on just a minute," said Julian, sitting up. Garak sat up too. "You honestly think you're... ugly?"

"Of course I do!" said Garak defensively. "Haven't you ever seen any other Cardassian males? You've got to know how ugly I am by now!"

"Wait a minute, Elim," Julian said. "Why do you think you're ugly?"

"Have you ever looked at me?" Garak said. "I'm simply awful! My scales aren't defined, no matter how many times they shed! My neck is too short! My chufa is misshapen! And I'm not, well, I'm not slim enough."

"Your chufa is misshapen!?" Julian repeated. "Yours is perfect!"

"Like you would know!" said Garak, who was getting really worked up now.

"Well, how is this ideal Cardassian male of yours supposed to look?" Julian asked.

Garak started to say something, then stopped. He knew Julian wouldn't like what he was about to say.

"You can say it!" Julian said. "Go on!"

"Like... well, like Gul Dukat," said Garak.

Julian was plainly speechless. "I cannot believe this," said Julian after a moment. "This whole time, you've thought you were ugly, compared to GUL DUKAT?!"

"Calling the Gul ugly would just be wrong," said Garak. "It's plainly a lie, and I know you're not a good liar."

"Gul Dukat?" Julian repeated, evidently still shocked. "The Cardassian beauty standard is Gul Dukat?"

"Well, yes," said Garak. "I thought it was rather obvious."

"No- no, it wasn't!" said Julian. "You're serious? You're really serious? This isn't just some lie you made up to make me feel stupid?"

"I may lie for many reasons," said Garak, "but I would never want to make you feel stupid, my dear."

"But it's so silly!" said Julian. "I mean, Gul Dukat? You're clearly the most beautiful Cardassian I've ever seen, and trust me, I've seen enough of Dukat."

"I doubt as much as I've seen," said Garak.

Julian's eyes widened. "Oh, NO."

Garak laughed at his expression. "Oh, yes."

"You can't be serious," said Julian. "You're so gorgeous!"

"I'm gaining weight! And I'm getting older! And my chufa is funny-shaped!" Garak said.

"I don't care, I don't care, and I don't CARE," said Julian. "You go on thinking you're hideous if it makes you feel better, but I am secure in the knowledge that you are beautiful."

They didn't talk for a moment. Then Garak sighed. "I can tell you really mean it, dear," he said, "but I know the facts."

"The facts are that you're handsome and I love you," said Julian. He crossed his arms. "Are you making all of this up? Is this just another lie? What is this really about? Is it too close to shedding time again? Did I bite you too hard?"

"I assure you, I'm not making it up," said Garak, but Julian had made him smile. Damn. That man really knows how to make me smile, he thought. "No, you didn't bite me too hard. It felt very good, I assure you."

"Tell me you're beautiful," said Julian. "I want to hear it from you. I want to hear you say it."

"If you insist. Fine. You're beautiful," said Garak sarcastically.

Julian hit him with a pillow. "You know that's not what I meant," he said.

"But I'm not!" Garak said. "I'm too old for you! I've been eating too many chocolates and it's going to my waist! And my chufa-"

"I know, I know, it's misshapen," said Julian with a sigh. "I mean it, Elim. I think you're beautiful. Really beautiful. I knew it as soon as I saw you, and you aren't the first Cardassian I'd ever seen. You mean so much to me, and I hate to think of you thinking that you're ugly. Because I think you're absolutely stunning. I don't care if you eat a lot of chocolates. I don't care if we have an age gap. I love every single one of your scales. And I do not at all think your chufa is shaped funny. I love you so, so much, Elim. I just wish you would love yourself."

"Thank you, Julian," Garak said. "It's just... I've spent my whole life hating myself. I don't think it's going to be very easy for me to think I'm anything more than unattractive."

"That's okay," said Julian. "I guess I don't expect you to think you're beautiful right away. It'll take some convincing." He leaned in and kissed Garak, first on the lips, then on the special spot on his neck that he liked being kissed on.

Garak let out an involuntary hiss of pleasure. "Now, Julian, if we keep on going like this, we'll never fall asleep. You have three surgeries tomorrow and I have to finish a dress for a visiting ambassador."

"I guess we had better get to sleep," said Julian, sounding disappointed. "You know, now that I know that Gul Dukat has touched your body, I don't know if I like it as much anymore," Julian commented.

Garak's eyes widened. "Really?"

Julian laughed. "No, I'm kidding. I promise."

"Good," said Garak. He paused. "Anyway, it was more like my body touching his."

"Stop! I'm going to have nightmares for a week!" Julian cried.

Garak slipped his hand into Julian's. "I love you so much, Julian," he said softly.

"I love you too, Elim," said Julian, squeezing his hand. "Now, we'd better get some sleep."

"I suppose so," said Garak. He kissed Julian on the lips. "Goodnight, dear."

"Goodnight, Elim."

**Author's Note:**

> You can blame Alone Together for the Dukat/Garak bit. :D  
> How did you like this little fic? I apparently really like writing insecure Garak. (Totally not a reflection on my own life.) I'd love to know what you think! :)


End file.
